fans.....

evil people abound on this earth, but it seems that *i* always seem to encounter most of them when i become involved in a fan community.

many, many moons ago....before we were all hooked up via this internet thing, i was deeply involved in all of the fan clubs for a certain band. we'll call them "alpha." i was a supporter, contributor, distributor, etc for several snail mail clubs for "alpha." towards the end of that period of time, i was shocked and amazed at how many "fans" felt the need to be 'better' than everyone else, or 'bigger fans' than everyone else. the backbiting and lying that occured was mind boggling. i saw so many people get hurt because of the tall tales that some of these folks spread around, and i lost quite a few good friends because of the backlash. some people were so hurt by blatant falsehoods that they just retreated from the scene entirely....including from those of us who loved them. swore i would NEVER get involved in a fan community again.

i should have listened to myself. fast forward a few years later.

once again......i believed in the music of a certain artist (who we'll call 'beta') so much that i jumped back into 'the scene' again. started really trying to promote 'beta' and got heavily involved in the local fan community. once again....yep, you guessed it, jealousy reared it's ugly head and the lies began to flow like a river. this time, tho....the lies were told about ME to any and everyone. my genuine love for 'beta' was discredited not only to many, many fans but to 'beta' himself. the most hurtful part of the situation, i think, was that no one saw fit to tell me that all this was going on behind my back.....i found out the "hard" way. sadly, the pain of that situation is still alive and well, and even tho 'beta' is one of the most talented people i have ever know, i can hardly listen to the music anymore because it just slashes open those old wounds of hurt and betrayal. i not only lost friends this time, but the joy of some of the best music i ever heard. swore i would NEVER get involved in a fan community again. EVER.

i should have listened to myself....once again.

several years ago i joined a few yahoo groups for an actor that i am a big fan of. we'll call HIM 'gamma.' long story short...i had joined a group started by a young lady who lost interest in it in a couple of months, and, without asking me, made me the owner of the group. i really didn't want the responsibility, but decided to just invite a few friends of mine to join and to just see how things went. it's now 4 and one half years later, and we are at nearly 300 members and when you do a search in yahoo groups for 'gamma'...we are the first one that comes up because we are the oldest, active group on yahoo. for the past few days, someone has been reporting us to yahoo as a group that contains adult material. (we don't.) i know to most.....this wouldn't seem like a big deal, but it really is because now when you search for 'gamma' groups in yahoo.....we don't show up anymore because of our "adult" catagory. i can write to yahoo, and the techs review our group and change it back, but as soon we get the issue resolved, whoever is reporting us does it again. it seems that once again.....jealousy, hatred and black hearts are at work, and this time i have NO clue as to who is doing it or why. i might be over-reacting, but every time i have thought about the situation today i have cried. it's just very hurtful to think that someone is being so hateful and cruel.......and for what?? maybe this time i will REALLY learn my lesson and STAY AWAY from fan groups. i'm not strong enough to stand up to the nastiness.

all that being said however: i do run a myspace page and yahoo group for another musical artist who we will call 'omega.' 'omega' is WONDERFUL and most of his fans are too. i am blessed to be involved with him, and i sincerely hope that our relationship continues for years to come!!! and at least i know that 'omega' believes and trusts me, and i doubt that anyone could spread vicious lies about me that 'omega' would believe. (unlike the 'beta' situation)

to conclude (aren't you glad???)......

i want my yahoo saboteur to know that you have succeeded. i'm heartbroken. congratulations, and remember: instant karma's gonna get you. hopefully you don't have too many mirrors in your house, because i honestly don't know how you can look yourself in the face. sleep well.

it was 42 years ago today.......

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SGT. PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND!!!

thank you for entertaining us, challenging us, and changing us. oh....and thanks for the my blog moniker. ;-)

let your light shine!

was out on my porch this evening and saw a firefly. (or lightening bug, as we call them downsouth) i was struck by his beauty.....i haven't seen one in ages and ages. he took me back to my childhood: back to when we saw swarms of them each night, and all of the neighborhood kids would be running around in our bare feet on the soft summer grass, trying to see who could catch the most of those little bugs with their glowing tails. altho i'm not aging gracefully in my head, there are very few moments that *really* make me miss my childhood, but seeing that little fellow tonite certainly did!!


Firefly, Firefly
Shine your light tonight
Assist the Moon and Stars
In helping us
To ease our troubled minds

the grand delusion........

i'm not even going to comment on this and any of you who know how i feel about the subject are probably glad because you don't want to read a 20 page rant on the misconceptions that society has been heaping on us for years and years. oops! guess i did throw a teeny, tiny comment in there. but honestly? i'm so angered at this crap that i could spit botox needles!

http://www.parentdish.com/2009/05/26/mom-and-daughter-botox-addicts/?icid=mainhtmlws-maindl3link4http%3A%2F%2Fwww.parentdish.com%2F2009%2F05%2F26%2Fmom-and-daughter-botox-addicts%2F


Mom and Daughter Botox Addicts
by Sandy Maple May 26th 2009 5:00PM

We all know that as parents, we have a huge influence on how our children view themselves and the world in which they live. Mothers in particular play a large part in shaping the way their daughters feel about themselves and their appearance. If a mom frets over her looks and worries aloud about her weight, hair, skin, etc., there's a good chance her daughter will learn do the same.

While most of us try to set a healthy example of self-love and acceptance, there are those who seem incapable of that. If a daughter learns from her mother to accept and appreciate herself the way she's made, what happens to the child of a mother who is obsessed with her appearance and will do anything to achieve her idea of perfection? In the case of Margaret King, she raises a daughter who won't be happy until she herself is perfect.

King is a 49-year-old housewife who has spent about $90,000 upgrading her face and body. She's had two breast enlargements, a nose job, a mini-face lift and a tummy tuck. In addition, she's had regular Botox injections for past eleven years. Given all that, it is no surprise that her daughter, 18-year-old Jodie, has learned to be critical of her own appearance.

When Jodie began to complain that her forehead was too wrinkly, her friends assured her that it wasn't. But her mother didn't even try to convince her that she was beautiful the way she was -- she gifted her with Botox injections for her 18th birthday.

Since then, Botox injections have become a regular mother/daughter affair; the two of them regularly get shot up with ever-increasing amounts of the stuff. "So what if I'm a teenage Botox addict? I can't think of anything worse than looking old," says Jodie. "I'll always find a way to pay for Botox. Now I've started I can't stop."

Despite the fact that many experts don't recommend Botox for anyone under thirty, there is no law prohibiting it. But at least one cosmetic surgeon thinks King is leading her daughter down a perilous path. "It sounds like this young lady is on a dangerous spiral. She's obviously getting encouragement from her mother who sounds like she might be addicted to Botox as well," says Alex Karidis.

"It is very very unusual to have Botox at that age and 18-year-olds should only have it if there is a real facial deformity, not just normal lines when they frown. There is a real psychological danger. This is setting a precedent for using anti-aging procedures for many years to come. The mother needs to be taking responsibility if she is encouraging her daughter to have injections into her face.

"Unfortunately, Karidis' prediction is already playing out. King has moved beyond enabling her daughter to have Botox; she has taken her for a breast enlargement consult and promised her a nose job for her 21st birthday.

Women getting plastic surgery is nothing new and ultimately nobody's business but their own. But I can't help but feel sad that this lovely young woman has been raised to believe that she needs medical intervention in order to feel good about herself. And anyone who believes that there is nothing worse than looking old desperately needs a reality check.

fly to the angels.......

i miss you, little topie boy! thanks for 5 loving years................

this song is for you:

RADIO NOWHERE

I was trying to find my way home
But all I heard was a drone
Bouncing off a satellite
Crushing the last lone American night

(Chorus:)
This is Radio Nowhere
Is there anybody alive out there
This is Radio Nowhere
Is there anybody alive out there

I was sitting around a dead dial
Just another lost number in a file
Dancing down a dark hole (some say it’s “Been in some kind of dark cove”)
Just a-searching for a world with some soul

(Chorus)

I just wanna hear some rhythm
I just wanna hear some rhythm
I just wanna hear some rhythm
I just wanna hear some rhythm

I want a thousand guitars
I want pounding drums
I want a million different voices
Speaking in tongues

(Chorus)

I was driving through the misty rain
Just a-searching for a mystery train
Bopping through the wild blue
Trying to make a connection with you

(Chorus)

I just wanna hear some rhythm
I just wanna hear some rhythm
I just wanna hear your rhythm
I just wanna hear your rhythm
(repeat until end)

(i know it may seem a little odd to post these particular lyrics for my topaz, but it was his favorite song, after all. he sang like mad every time he heard it. big springsteen fan, my bird! i'll think about him every time i hear "the boss," the brian setzer orchestra or african drums!)

my own private idaho......

i'm not much of a tv watcher, and until last year i had mangaged not to watch the first minute of anything considered "reality tv" (unless you consider 'american idol' reality tv) and i haven't watched that in several years.

imagine my surprise to find myself a part of a reality tv show in my dreams last nite. it was entertaining, fun, enjoyable, and a dream i would certainly love to re-visit....in fact.....would like for it to continue to see if i win!!! heeeheeee.. i'll keep the details of "my" show to myself, but just had to "set it in stone" here for grins and giggles. my subconcious imagination takes me to some bizarre places sometimes.........and this had to be one of the "bizarrest!"

flexibility.......

i used to dance when i was younger....took lessons and the whole nine. in fact, my mom told me that i was dancing before i was talking. ;-) (watching 'american bandstand' and doing the twist at age 2!) in my teens....i decided that boys and bands were much more important than dance, so i stopped taking lessons. (my one regret in life!) i did keep dancing, tho, for a long, long time and was extremely flexible and limber. (used to win dance contests at clubs. i was GOOD!) well....as we all know life and age get in the way sometimes, and a couple of years ago i realized that while in years past i could bend from the waist and put my hands flat on the floor effortlessly...........i had gotten to the point that i could barely touch my toes!! i decided to make it a point to stretch more, and i did do that, but not as much as i should. then, last year when i started watching DANCING WITH THE STARS....i really got motivated. i *used* to be in that kind of shape.........dancing shape..........and i decided to start doing a mixture of yoga and dance exercises to get more limber and flexible. well.....i'm not exactly sure of the date that i started, but i know it was sometime in february or march of 2008. i have been doing my stretches/yoga every day but sunday (it's the day of rest, after all. haha!) for a little over a year! who would have ever thought i would have stuck with it this long??? and? i can put my hands flat on the floor, bending from the waist and NOT bending the knees.....and stand that way for an hour if i needed to!! so yeah.......i'm proud of myself. i think i deserve a party!!!!! ;-)