fans.....

evil people abound on this earth, but it seems that *i* always seem to encounter most of them when i become involved in a fan community.

many, many moons ago....before we were all hooked up via this internet thing, i was deeply involved in all of the fan clubs for a certain band. we'll call them "alpha." i was a supporter, contributor, distributor, etc for several snail mail clubs for "alpha." towards the end of that period of time, i was shocked and amazed at how many "fans" felt the need to be 'better' than everyone else, or 'bigger fans' than everyone else. the backbiting and lying that occured was mind boggling. i saw so many people get hurt because of the tall tales that some of these folks spread around, and i lost quite a few good friends because of the backlash. some people were so hurt by blatant falsehoods that they just retreated from the scene entirely....including from those of us who loved them. swore i would NEVER get involved in a fan community again.

i should have listened to myself. fast forward a few years later.

once again......i believed in the music of a certain artist (who we'll call 'beta') so much that i jumped back into 'the scene' again. started really trying to promote 'beta' and got heavily involved in the local fan community. once again....yep, you guessed it, jealousy reared it's ugly head and the lies began to flow like a river. this time, tho....the lies were told about ME to any and everyone. my genuine love for 'beta' was discredited not only to many, many fans but to 'beta' himself. the most hurtful part of the situation, i think, was that no one saw fit to tell me that all this was going on behind my back.....i found out the "hard" way. sadly, the pain of that situation is still alive and well, and even tho 'beta' is one of the most talented people i have ever know, i can hardly listen to the music anymore because it just slashes open those old wounds of hurt and betrayal. i not only lost friends this time, but the joy of some of the best music i ever heard. swore i would NEVER get involved in a fan community again. EVER.

i should have listened to myself....once again.

several years ago i joined a few yahoo groups for an actor that i am a big fan of. we'll call HIM 'gamma.' long story short...i had joined a group started by a young lady who lost interest in it in a couple of months, and, without asking me, made me the owner of the group. i really didn't want the responsibility, but decided to just invite a few friends of mine to join and to just see how things went. it's now 4 and one half years later, and we are at nearly 300 members and when you do a search in yahoo groups for 'gamma'...we are the first one that comes up because we are the oldest, active group on yahoo. for the past few days, someone has been reporting us to yahoo as a group that contains adult material. (we don't.) i know to most.....this wouldn't seem like a big deal, but it really is because now when you search for 'gamma' groups in yahoo.....we don't show up anymore because of our "adult" catagory. i can write to yahoo, and the techs review our group and change it back, but as soon we get the issue resolved, whoever is reporting us does it again. it seems that once again.....jealousy, hatred and black hearts are at work, and this time i have NO clue as to who is doing it or why. i might be over-reacting, but every time i have thought about the situation today i have cried. it's just very hurtful to think that someone is being so hateful and cruel.......and for what?? maybe this time i will REALLY learn my lesson and STAY AWAY from fan groups. i'm not strong enough to stand up to the nastiness.

all that being said however: i do run a myspace page and yahoo group for another musical artist who we will call 'omega.' 'omega' is WONDERFUL and most of his fans are too. i am blessed to be involved with him, and i sincerely hope that our relationship continues for years to come!!! and at least i know that 'omega' believes and trusts me, and i doubt that anyone could spread vicious lies about me that 'omega' would believe. (unlike the 'beta' situation)

to conclude (aren't you glad???)......

i want my yahoo saboteur to know that you have succeeded. i'm heartbroken. congratulations, and remember: instant karma's gonna get you. hopefully you don't have too many mirrors in your house, because i honestly don't know how you can look yourself in the face. sleep well.