art for art's sake.....

had some random stranger ask me yesterday if i was an "artist." i can't even count how many times i've been asked this question. apparently the way i look and dress gives other the impression that i'm terribly creative!! i love it....especially considering that my mode of dress isn't nearly as ecclectic as it used to be, or as i would like it to be. so...yeah. made me happy to be asked yesterday. thank you!! you made my heart smile!

our ms brooks:

our brooksley will be a wonderful present for JESUS in heaven this christmas. gonna miss you swee-swee!

first anniversay............

it was 1 year ago today

sami* pepper put the smokes away.

i miss it like a phantom limb and it would have been nice if my family had said "congrats." ah well......maybe one day i'll be glad i did it.

yesterday..........

Yesterday,

All my troubles seemed so far away,

Now it looks as though they're here to stay,

Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly,

I'm not half the man I used to be,

There's a shadow hanging over me,

Oh, yesterday came suddenly.

snack attack.

these are the crack of the junk food snack world. for realz. dig it.

somewhere over the rainbow:

i'm often astounded and always pleased at how i manage to become a fan of someone's art and then find out that they are a pretty cool person as well. as a kid, i ADORED the hudson brothers....i think i had a crush on all three of them at one point or another. now, as an adult, i am a HUGE fan of "the rainbow": mark. he's a genius, i think, and his solo cd, THE ARTIST, is brilliant! honestly......any fan of the beatles should check it out, as he is channeling lennon BIG time! anyway.........he was in chicago over the weekend playing a show with mark farner, dickey betts and some 'rock and roll fantasy camp' alums, and had posted about it on his facebook page. a nice man in chicago had left a comment about having had tickets for the show, but how he had to sell them to pay his monthly rent. ( i know how heartbreaking this can be. i realized not long ago that i have missed seeing every one of my faves this year due to lack of funds! ) anyhow.....dear mark responded to the post ,and put the gentlman and his wife on the guest list for the show! the gesture brought tears to my eyes....it really did....and once again i was so happy to realize that i was a huge fan of someone not only mind-blowingly talented, but kind hearted as well. i guess there ARE some decent people left in this world. i sure can pick 'em, eh?????

seriously: i urge EVERYONE one to head over to http://www.markhudsonmusic.com/ and get a copy of the cd. you won't be sorry...i promise!!! you'll be thanking me later! :)

my sacrifice............

sometimes i feel like the sacrificial lamb. i suppose i shouldn't complain. i am so very blessed compared to many, many people in the world. still? its lonely and heartbreaking to realize that things will never be like you had hoped they would be.

you can do anything but don't step on my....

blue. suede. boots. yeah, i got it like that. rock and roll!! :)

it's that time of year again........

happy birthday, kjc. i'm still trying to smooth over that rough patch of road i met you on.


Yes I am alone but then again I always was
As far back as I can tell
I think maybe it's because
Because you were never really real to begin with
I just made you up to hurt myself
I just made you up to hurt myself, yeah
And I just made you up to hurt myself
And it worked.
Yes it did!


thanks trent reznor for the use of the lyrics. you are brilliant, but you need to get outta my head!!!

you'd be looking groovy.........

She just woke up but she´s still tired

is that the telephone ringing

The curtains can´t hold back the lite

That´s reaching into her dreams down in her heart.

If it had fingers it´d be tearing you apart.

You be looking groovy in a sixties movie.

Maybe tell the press you died.

Little legend baby try your very best to hide.

A green tinted sixties mind.

She keeps memories locked away

but they are always escaping.

Neglect won´t make them fade away

.That´s reaching into her dreams down in her heart.

Don´t need fingers to be tearing it apart.

Gotta face the day there´s no other way

to clear the fog inside your mind.

Fill it up with dreams but all that you can seem to find

.A green tinted sixties mind.

Hanging out with Janis moving to Atlantis

Could have made it if you tried.

What´s the point of force

it´s easy as a horse to ride

A green tinted sixties mind.

You be looking groovy...

let's do the time warp again!!!

i know i've blogged before about how funny my birds are and how they sing to songs they love!!! just the other nite, watching GLEE, i discovered what is apparently one of geddy's favorite songs! the show was a tribute to THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW and the last song was "the time warp." ged went nuts!! don't think i've ever heard him sing as loud or exhuberantly. seems he's a big fan of doing the time warp again. LOL!!!

when we were beautiful:

just watched bon jovi's "when we were beautiful" and had a good cry. thanks to the jovi boys for touching my life once again. how many times have they managed to do it in the past 30 years? :) i lost count 20 years ago.

life isn't easy for me right now..........i am TRULY 'livin' on a prayer' ....and the honesty and candor they showed in the film did me more good than they will ever know! sometimes we find blessings in the oddest of places, altho after all these years, i certainly shouldn't be surprised when bon jovi is the vehicle for one. like i said.....it isn't the first time and i'm quite sure it won't be the last. thank you, LORD, for that gift.

now.....just let me be able to afford to go see them the next time they come to town..........

why can't we walk the talk?

pondering why we as humans are always so willing to believe in others. in my lifetime (which, altho i FEEL really fracking old is REALLY a reasonably short period of time...) i have learned that very few people are truly by your side and 'there for you'.....despite what they may say. we are all full of platitudes and pledges of love and friendship. people claim quickly to be your friend, but how many of us really *show* it? seems to me that the 'proof is in the pudding' and it saddens me to say that i have very, VERY rarely had "friends" who showed the friendship by thier actions when the chips were down and the love was needed the most!

in case anyone reading this gets the wrong idea......i'm not talking about you!!! (smile) the people that were the reason for the blog are some of those who i met thru "GB world" and claimed to be such "good" friends. now that i'm not heavily involved in that community....they can't be bothered to even say 'thank you' when i do them a favor....much less drop me a line every once in awhile just to say "hi." i'm not surprised, as i've learned to expect this from folks, but still.....as i said at the beginning of the blog, we always WANT to believe that people actually mean what they say. i guess if we didn't have that hope in our hearts.....it would be hard to go on from day to day.

anyhow, as for me personally....i'm going to TRY to be more of a friend to those i consider to be my pals. if i fall short.......do me a favor and please TELL ME! i want to walk the talk.........

silver linings.......

ok....so i know that i wanted to lose some of this weight that i've gained since i gave up the smokes, but i didn't REALLY want to get a nasty case of the tummy flu to do it!! i mean, c'mon! was that really necessary??????

whilst we're on the subject of smokes, i gotta say that it's a good thing that i am broke and jobless right now. if i weren't....i'd be picking up the habit again in a heartbeat. i miss it, i've gained so much weight that i can't fit in most of my clothes (and i worked SOOOO hard to lose that weight the first time!), i don't feel better physically, and it hasn't helped with allergy season at all like i had hoped. oh...and did i mention that i MISS IT????????? so i guess it's a good thing that i a dead broke. sigh.

it's a fine line.....

"it's a fine line between love and hate." i never understood that comment in the past. to me....these two would/should be polar opposites........nothing in common but passion. these days i am not only in a position to understand the statement, but to relate so well as to have been able to come up with it on my own!!

love anyway.....................(repeat as mantra over and over and over and over.....)

me, myself and i????

i've been amazed in the last few years to realize just how narcissistic most of our society is. that might not come as a shock to many people, but i honestly thought that most of us cared more for others and thier feelings than we do. i really was shocked at the self absorption level of people in general....and at those in my own life that i have to deal with or have had to deal with. i mean.....think about the "status" thing on facebook and myspace and the general idea of twitter. why have we become so enamored of ourselves that we feel it necessary to let the world know from minute to minute what's on our minds, where we are and what we're doing? did it ever occur to ANY of us that in the general scheme of things....it ain't ABOUT us????? just boggles my mind, but maybe *i'm* the one who is misguided since i seem to be in the minority of folks who just doesn't "get" it........

and on a personal level......i get amazed at how easy it is for some people to "use" others. it's ok to ask me for a favor when you need one, but then i don't exist in the next moment when said favor is done. this used to make me angry, but no more. i just feel sad for people who are like this. how miserable you must be inside. i hope you can find your peace. and as for myself.........i've distanced myself from your crowd anyway. i don't need all the things that your kind bring into my life. i realized this so very long ago, and only recently worked up the courage to do something about it.

now....if i could find a way to change the MOST self absorbed person i know...maybe my life could get back on track. that will take lots of prayer, tho...and so far, HE isn't listening.......

. . . . . . . .

i miss me. i hope i come home soon.............