labor of love

labor of love definition: productive work performed voluntarily without material reward or compensation

when one performs a labor of love..........one does it *for* love, out of the goodness of one's heart, or dedication. there is no compensation, and none is required. however......there are times when one would like to know that the labor is not in vain. i am starting to wonder if all my "labors" are worth it. i spend an awful lot of time working on my gerry group. i am very concientious about it, try to keep it updated, and worry when i lag behind on news. the groups are really quiet, and i don't mind that, as i realize that most people who join groups are "lurkers" and like to read but not speak out. it's the fact the no one seems to bother to read that disturbs me. when i take the time to post news items, and days later someone else posts the same news item like it's never been seen or heard before...........i start to wonder: why do i do this? why do i spend so much time trying to be a good 'list mommy'? my own personal gerry fandom doesn't depend on the group........i was a fan long before i inherited it..........and i'll be a fan long after it's gone. it's frustrating to work so hard at something, and then feel like nobody gives a damn. to top it all off, yahoo for some reason has moved us from "entertainment" to the "adult" catagory which means that if anyone is searching yahoo groups for a gerard butler group...........they won't find us. i've emailed yahoo repeatedly to no avail. honestly....i was so frustrated about this that it actually brought me to tears. again....i feel like over 3 years of hard work and, yes, a labor of love.........has been a waste. i don't want compensation, i don't even want people to say anything about the group...........but for GOD'S sake........if you are a member..........at least READ THE DAMN POSTS!! at least then i will feel like all the time i devote to it is worthwhile. i know, i know...it shouldn't matter, because it's a labor of love after all, but dammit, i'm tired. if no one else cares..........why should i??? i swear, if i hadn't put so many, many, many hours into it, i would just delete it. there are lots of other groups out there and i know of at least one that would be thrilled to see mine gone. or? i could just stop updating it. i doubt anyone but cris would even notice.

then....in this midst of all this frustration, a dear friend sends me this poem:

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered

;Forgive them anyway

.If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;

Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;

Succeed anyway.

People may cheat you;

Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;

Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;

Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;

It is never between you and them anyway.

in my current mood.......it seemed rather fitting and reminded me of my own "love anyway" motto!! it's a wonderful poem, and full of brilliant advice, but oh lord.....it sure is easier said (read) than done!!!